Beauty

I am beautiful.

It wasn't very long ago when I couldn't say that with a straight face.  I, for the longest time, bought into the commercial, Abercrombie and Fitch attitude of the idea of it.  A slender frame fitting into skin tight jeans, perfectly tanned skin, perky little noses.  The concept of beauty has become so warped that when we look in the mirror, we don't see ourselves anymore.  We see a corporate-pimped vain idea.

As kids, girls were taught to "smile pretty" and mirror ourselves after Disney Princesses and Barbie dolls with insane body measurements.  I honestly feel sorry for the girls these day.  The sexualization of girls, of children these days is out of control.  The amount of pressure they must be under, I can't even imagine it.  There are 15 year old girls and younger modeling clothes that are meant for grown ups, using the idea of "the new femininity". 

Now that I am a grown up, I can see that the images that I so longed to be like were doctored within an inch of their lives. The bodies that I idolized were incredibly fake.  I honestly didn't know what real boobs looked like until I was well over 18.  I thought I was just weird looking.  So, we have these kids growing up now, looking at images of complete and utter lies.  They believe it as the truth.  Are shocked when it's not.

(There's a Tumblr site that I absolutely recommend for the girls who have negative feelings about their "girls"  Our Breasts. Seriously, check it out.  Boys, stay the fuck away from this one.  It's not for you.  Also, check out Attractive & Fat)

What I'm trying to say is that I am beautiful.  I'm chubby, weird, unconventional, sexy, strange, and beautiful.  And guess what.  So are you.  Yes, some days you'll look in the mirror and think "Wow, I look like a hot bag of shit".  Fuck that attitude.

I love me.  I love my piggy colored skin.  I love my freckles.  I don't always love my body, but I'm working on it.  At least I know that we all are struggling to love something about ourselves.  It's really hard sometimes. 

Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is out to get you down over the way you look.  Sometimes, you get moo'd at (this has happened to me. It's mortifying.  Seriously, calling someone else fat/ugly/stupid does not make you hot/skinny/smart.  Are you THAT insecure about yourself or are you trying to make me cry in public?).  It does get really hard to ignore the Fat Shamers at times.

Just remember that Fight Club was wrong.  You ARE a unique snowflake.  And baby are you a gorgeous one.  I need reminding sometimes, too.

In the very wise words of Ellen DeGeneres: "Beauty is not a number between 0 and 8."