My Favorite Pet

This is another Random Topic.

Obviously, my favorite pet is a dog.  As I've written in a previous post No, You May Not Pet My Dog, I have two.  Well, I have Mogs, actually.  I have always had a dog, and I can't imagine my house not having one.  Dogs are the members of your family who are always super pumped to see you.  Why would you not want that?  Unless you're allergic (get meds, ya pansy) or heartless, you want a dog.

No, You May Not Pet My Dog

This really should go without saying, but there is no inherently "vicious" dog.  There are dogs who have suffered a terrible life, there are dogs who have been backed into a corner, there are dogs who are afraid or anxious, but there are no "vicious" dogs.

I am not the first person to say this, but any animal in certain circumstances will bite.  Or scratch. Or fucking maul your ass. 

Things that Make You an Asshole

There are many ways a person can be an asshole. Here are just a few.

Random Topic: Marriage

Note: The original topic was only Prop8, but I totally go off on a tangent about marriage in general.

Fuck. Prop 8.

Seriously.  Fuck it.

How to Be Awkward

I was an only child until I was 9.  That's the excuse I'd like to use.  I'm incredibly awkward.  Just painfully, ridiculously socially awkward. 

Dear Downtown Des Moines: Let’s Move in Together, part two.

There are many, many things that irk the shit out of me about Downtown Des Moines.  I have two other posts on the topic already.  This one will only be about Income Restricted Apartments.  I’ve touched on this a little before, but I don’t think my annoyance was shown enough.

  There are more income restricted apartments than market rate.  Which is fucking insanity.  Way to pick and choose who gets to live in your apartments, guys.  That has to be some kind of discrimination, right?  Not allowing people who make too much money to live in your building seems counter-intuitive.    

Gwyneth Paltrow is a Cunt

I just really need to get this off my chest.  I know there are probably a million articles on the interwebs that are anti-GP, but I feel like I must come out of the Goop-hating closet.

I have never wanted to punch someone square in the face so much.  Excluding, you know, Hitler and all of these dickheads. 

Seriously, who just goes on a trip across Italy with Mario Batali, and films it for PBS?  Who writes a book called "It's All Good" that includes recipes that average $300 per day, if you follow her low-carb, gluten free, meat and dairy free diet?

You Refilled the Salt Shaker, and Other Tiny Declarations of Love

As you've probably already figured out, this blog is random.  Life is random, so this will be, too.

I made orecchiette with roasted chickpeas and asparagus tossed with anchovies, dill, and lemon for lunch today.  Normally the anchovies and the Parmesan give it the perfect salty bite, but it needed more today.   I noticed that the Boyfriend filled the shaker.  I'd been too lazy to do this for more than a week, taking it out of the big container in the cupboard instead.  But he filled it.  And it made me lighter-than-air happy.  Big smiley happy.   Because it's something that I normally do, and he did it.

Dear Downtown Des Moines: Let's Move in Together, Maybe

This is the second of what I'm sure will be a many part open letter to my beloved Des Moines.

I want to live downtown.  I want to be another denizen of the concrete jungle, with my little Mog sidekicks tap dancing down the sidewalks with me.  I would love to never have to shovel shitty snow again.  It would be awesome if my commute consisted of walking through the skywalk every morning.  If I could walk to the farmer's market.  Never take a cab home again after a night on Court.

I will never live downtown.  At least, not in Des Moines. 

Netflix Dreams

I often find myself staring at my Netflix queue, all the things I put in there, and have absolutely nothing to watch.  I should be reading, but I'm not.  I'm searching for the delicious milk from the Netflix teat, only to find that the supply is nearly dry. 

This is my pie-in-the-sky list of things I would absolutely love to find in my Netflix magic queue:

Dear Downtown Des Moines: A Lunchtime Tragedy.

Today, I decided that would walk down to the Kaleidoscope at the Hub, which for those who are uninitiated, is mall of sorts in downtown Des Moines. It’s falling apart, though. And its vacancy rate is nearing 90%. But there is a food court there. Maid Rite, Panda Express, sushi, Mexican. Typical mall food, really. I know this “mall” closes early. I checked the website before I walked my chubby ass 10 blocks on my 45 minute lunch at 4:15 PM. The website, which is also ‘under construction’, stated that the mall is open until 5 PM Monday through Friday.