What Would You Do with a Billion Dollars?

What would I do with a billion?   A ton of foolish shit, probably.

• I would go on constant vacation.  Visit every county seat in America.  And beyond, obvs.
• Buy the Los Angeles Dodgers and move their asses back to Brooklyn.
• Hold a music festival with the type of bands that I like.  We all know that 80/35 is a dirty hippie fest.  Mini mini Cochella.  Lazerfest?  More like Buttrockfest.  There would have to be an amazing line up to get to my pale, ginge ass to sit in the sun all day. It would be Tool, Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, and Marilyn Manson.  I'd sell tickets, and make a shit load of money.  Because everyone loves the 90s.
• I'd hire a personal trainer.  That's not foolish.
• And a maid.  Vaguely foolish.
• And a butler.  Way foolish.
• I have a Mog Zoo.  Just a whole herd of Mogs.  Mog Farm?
• I'd buy an actual farm.  With organic veggies.  It would be a CSA for lower incomes. 
• I'd pay to punch Kanye West in his vagina. 
• I'd buy an island and name is something REALLY stupid. Or vulgar.
• Caviar